Not-So… Mad about You

WOW! I may have something interesting to say.  Maybe.  It has been 1 year since and I may have forgotten what interesting things look like.  This could be related to the fact that it has been 12 months (TWELVE MONTHS?!) since I’ve had a relationship.  I could have grown a whole person by now!  Instead I have acquired a fighter fish name Apollo (named after Jamie Bamber from Battlestar Galactica) and a shiny new car.

Remember those times in your life when you were simply mad about someone, probably from the first moment you met, but that person never returned your feelings?  Justin.N., fourth grade.  Robin.Mc., eleventh grade.  James S., University, and Mark (the Doctor)… now.  I’m certain you’ve just made a similar list in your head.  I hate unrequited love.  It’s the most horrible fate a heart can endure.  I’d rather go through 10,000 breakups than spend my life hopelessly in love with a man who would never love me back.  (Oh Chris Pine, when will you follow me on twitter??)  Right now I am on the other side of that equation.  I’m sure this has happened at some other point in time (high school) but this is the one time I have encountered this situation as an adult.

It all began when I added an old friend on Facebook, his perused me for a while over the years, complimented me and also talked me through a few of the life issues we all have.  I knew that he found me attractive,and that he had wanted to ask me out. If he were a dog he would most certainly be a terrier, a Jack Russell.  Anyway.  He’d jump up and down at you, eat your shoes and pee in the house, but you wouldn’t be able to get rid of him because it was cute and you knew that it meant well.  I don’t dislike the Jack Russell as such, but he does not appeal to me and nothing about him says my future husband, in my mind.  Normally I’d give him a polite no thank-you, but…  I don’t know.  Don’t you ever just want to punch Karma in the face?  What would happen if unrequited love got what it wanted just this once?  Would that really be so terrible?

Fact is, I haven’t got much going on right now.  I’ve had many offers for dates with online dating, but nothing to write home about.  Except that one guy.  He was smart, cute, professional, caring and clever, and we only ever went on 4 dates.  The last date was a movie between his work shifts, I dropped him off at work and then… nothing…. his fallen into the abyss, and I’ve had to just let go of the idea of him.  It was a sad day for this silly girl, thought I had learned by now not to become even semi-attached to the idea of a relationship with someone.  He was so boyish pretty, and made me feel really happy around him.  Oh well.

So what if this time around I decide to make someone happy?  Would that be such a terrible thing? Let’s throw caution to the wind, shall we?  Let’s give unrequited love the shot it has always wanted!  Let’s spread a little happy at the risk of future disappointment!  I mean, what’s the worst that could happen????

The date wasn’t terrible at all, good flowing conversation, a rose when he picked me up, food was delicious and view of the city from the restaurant window, delightful, (I looked gorgeous, as always).  With such a winning combination of a first date around me, it wasn’t enough for my heart to start pounding.  I then felt terrible about my lack of feeling, I was going to have to give Jack Russel some sad news.  Which he took very well, but isn’t that what unrequited love is? No matter how mean I could have been to him, Jack Russell would always forgive me.