Sometimes I have this inner monologue running through my head. Actually not sometimes… all the time.
I have always related heavily to the character of J.D. on Scrubs, we think and act similarly, if I’m not daydreaming about a better version of myself (say a superhero, hard core rapper), I’m processing feelings, thoughts about recent life changing events, and coming to conclusions about how to fix a problem/s using my inner monologue.
There are some benefits to having a strong inner monologue, for one I originally started this blog so I could escape my head a bit, and really just be myself online. That’s what blogging is all about; being who you are, sharing what you do, think, like, don’t like, etc.
Though, on my walk to work this morning, I used my inner monologue to talk to God as I felt troubled and I was missing my Grandma. I looked up to the sky and said “Hey God, I need to chat about ……..”, I only seem to do this when outside, I’ve done it when running many times. I wondered to myself arriving at my office building, finishing my conversation with God, am I a bit crazy for having just had a complete one-sided conversation about my troubles to God, even though , I always know I will never receive a response from him.
Every Christian talks to God, I feel I will reach out and talk to God because it’s a conversation where I don’t feel judged, I feel it is a more pleasant conversation that feels relaxing and politely toned, unlike angry rants my inner monologue can throw around my mind and nothing at the end of the it makes sense or feels completed and fixed. Talking with God via my inner monologue actually feels gratifying, safe, and I problem solve quicker, as I believe I am feeling supported in the decisions I am making.
I received a piece of advice once, don’t over think things. I have never exceeded at this, it’s nothing I haven”t heard before, but I guess over thinking things is really just being me. I spent a lot of time growing up thinking and reflecting on what was going on about me, I spent many years as a teenager carrying around a thought diary so I never let one escape me while I was in class or studying for an exam.
When I have relationship and dating issues my inner monologue turns into more a Carrie Bradshaw from Sex in the City, I relate to her personality, writing style, way she presents herself and dating life, like most women would. She’s a strong female influence to me.
I have no problem with having a strong inner monologue. It’s actually quite liberating at times. All that this blog is doing is releasing that inner monologue into the wild to roam free.