Why (Internet) Dating Sucks.


Frankly, dating can suck.

It’s exhausting to schedule dates, decide what to wear, where to go, and what to talk about. Oh! and its annoying when your date cancel’s on you as your heading out the door to meet them… man flu must be in season this year.

It also doesn’t help that it’s winter and I’ve made more of a connection with my television remote then with people lately.

If you feel like throwing up your hands and waving the dating white flag of surrender, come join me!

Recently, I was dating two guys, with the same name, from the same dating website, both owned and ran a business and both competed in triathlons.  I couldn’t have made it any easier on myself to remember details about them.  But both, continued to cancel dates and reschedule, and both lacked an amount of communication to keep me interested.  Both guys received a ‘I’m no longer interested message’, I was bored of them.  Really, what was I thinking? Neither stood out from the other, and well you shouldn’t date two people at once (actually, I wasn’t exclusive with either so it shouldn’t really matter).

The thing that sucks about online dating is that people are not honest about their appearance, lifestyles and how ready and willing they really are for a relationship.  I’m not even 100% sure I want a relationship.  I’m basically bored, its winter and I’m single, I’m dating, for the sake of dating.

Now granted I have a pretty fine filter and I’ve met about 30 people over my years of on and off again online dating.  Internet dating websites are both a good and bad concept for a couple of different reasons.  They’re good for people who are introverted, who don’t go out much and who what to meet similar people who don’t go out much.  But what about me? I go out heaps, it always annoyed me when girlfriends tell me I need to “go out more, join an interest group/club”.  I do go out a lot already, I joined a running club, so why the hell haven’t I already met someone?  The problem is that with internet dating, they are all staying in searching through online dating profiles.

Which is another issue, its very easy to reject people, and very difficult to project an accurate portrayle of yourself in an online dating profile.  We tend include a great number of aspects of our personality, and because they’re all given the same amount of text online, it all looks like there equally important. Eg. Someone could state their religious beliefs and it may just mean that they were raised in that faith, but haven’t been to church in 15 years, and don’t spend a minute thinking about the existence of god, or they could be a crazy new age christian….. Enough said.

I’m a little more quirky with my profile to reflect my personality:

I thought I would throw some keywords that would describe what I like to do. If you recognise yourself in some of them, I think it might be worth taking the time to keep on reading my profile. If you don’t keep on reading, I swear I won’t be upset with you. I will never know anyway 😛 

Travelling overseas, surprises, music, blog writing, dancing, AFL, books, open mind, photography, beach trips, ice cream, museums, art galleries, spontaneity, cycling, swimming, family, going out & staying in, sharing, roller coasters, animation, birthday’s, simplicity, running, flip flops (yes the sandals), trying new things, friends, triathlons, animals, coffee, dogs, shopping, sense of humour, awareness, breakfast. 

And yet another short list of things that I’m not really fond of: 
– Cars. (can’t tell why I put this one first) 
– Arrogant people. (but, have you ever heard anybody saying “yes, I am definitely arrogant”)
– Snoring, I love my sleep! Facial hair, Tattoos & Piercing. 
– People who mumble when speaking. 
– People who don’t like going out. (I will never understand why people want to be home all day, we have such a beautiful world to explore) 
– Superficial people. (same problem as #2) 

In addition, if you happen to pronounce the following sentences regularly, we’re definitely increasing the chance of a good match here: 
“Ok let’s give it a try” 
“JFDI” 
“To be honest, I don’t know” 
“J’adore les escargots” ok this one doesn’t really count 

And last (I promise), if you think that Paris is the most beautiful city in the world, I think you should tell our parents to get ready for the wedding. 

I’ve kept my profile light, cute, and fun. When listing music, reading, sports, TV & Movies, Travel sections of the site, I scrolled through my itunes collection, described the types of books I read, TV Shows, movies I enjoy, what sports/exercise I do regularly, and where I have already been on planet earth in detail.

Looks don’t matter to you? I don’t believe it! Looks do matter, physical attraction is part of the game and this means your profile picture being inspected.  Accurate and recent photo’s are important, multiple angles, face and body, and in a variety of style of cloths.  Pictures of you in sunglasses, leaning on your car or motor bike, a picture of your tattoo, photo of you surfing really isn’t going to grab the attention of…. at least not me, if I can’t see what you actually look like my mouse is clicking the reject button… my high standards.

Recently I told my mum I had deleted all my online dating accounts, she asked me how I planned to meet someone.  I told her the same way people did before the internet, by marrying the boy next door.  Online dating has made me lazy, once I deleted the profiles the idea of online dating seemed pointless.  Since deleting my profiles I have been more proactive and signed up for a few speed dating nights in the next month.  If I’m going to date, I can date 10+ in one night with my pro-speed dating skills, also meet and make some new girlfriends while I’m there.

Mars

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