I am currently laying in my bed trying to get to sleep. My mind is wondering from subject to subject. First I was counting sheep to help myself fall asleep, I then began giving the sheep names and background stories. I can not fall asleep because I am sick and have been sleeping throughout the day.
I go back to work tomorrow after a fantastic holiday down the Gold Coast with my boyfriend. I went to my workplace on Saturday to use my computer and apply for a position in my department that has been recently advertised. After seeing the workload that will need to be dealt with I have been plotting my course of action for Monday.
Thinking about my future in the department I have started to stress about the job application I submitted. Will I get an interview, was the application good enough, what if my goal in obtaining this position is….. destroyed, crushed and swept away from me like shattered glass….
I will react like I have been kicked in the guts along with a punch in the face. I’ll feel a little betrayed and hurt. It will be another lost opportunity in a long string on them. I’ll admit I have made a lot of bad life choices regarding work. Just….this once I really want something that I know, I am perfect for, this position. It will secure my financial future until retirement and I can finally look at all my future adventures knowing I never have to worry about cash flow again.
Reading through a copy of my draft I feel more confident about the application. I’m no closer to falling asleep on my pillow and their will never be enough names for the counting sheep. In a months time I could get the position and will be laughing at why I became so worried one night over nothing.
Mars on Life.