A Blast from the Past Blog ~ ‘Retard Talking’ ~ October 2008


I’ve decided I’m retarded at talking. I always speak before even starting to think, so I am always mispronouncing words, or saying a word that sounds similar to the word I want to say.

I also seem to read signs wrong, for some reason I thought a sign said “Community Parking” when it actually said “10 Minute parking”, I thought it was so funny that the car park was like Monopoly, I didn’t notice my mistake until all my friends in the car couldn’t understand what I thought was so incredibly funny.

I am always getting my metaphors wrong; I once said “I don’t know him from a bar of Salt.”

I spent my whole life thinking someone who is good at Maths is a Math-a-Magician. Honestly, I did believe this until last year, and I’m 24!

I will owe this one to my friend Briony, she was very drunk in Melbourne a few weeks ago and Briony was getting so annoyed at a light in our hotel room that she said to me “that light is like Barak Obama in my face” due to all the media attention when he won the presidency that week. I don’t think I will ever let her live that down.

Then the other night I had my current boyfriend carry my heavy weekend bag into his place. It looked like he was struggling as he had just been to gym doing weights and had his work bags with him as well. For some unknown reason I blurted out “I bet my bag weights a fortune”… He therefore turned around and ask me to re-say what I had just said…. I honestly couldn’t remember …. So he told me what I had said and I felt so very embarrassed! Your not meant to say stupid things in front of guys.

Mars on life.